The Baby Dictionary

1. (n) A steady, regular, consistent place where horses live

1. (n) An old fangled Stairmaster located conveniently at every building in excess of one story in height 2. (v) Means of simultaneously getting in shape and in trouble, since most kids aren’t allowed on them without supervision, even though we just love the heck out of them

1. (v) Expression of disagreement expressed by a loud footfall and vocal harrumph, the sort of thing that gets us in trouble 2. (n) Expensive, albeit small, sticker used to thank the mail for sending letters

1. (n) A makeshift system of ladder-like rungs found throughout most homes, workplaces and retail stores. Ideal for climbing though oftentimes hundreds of obstacles must first be thrown haphazardly to the floor

1. (n) Parent or close friend qualified to guide me to the top of a gigantic hill or tremendous mountain 2. (n) A wooly manherd, or shepguide.

1. (adj) Descriptive word for any of the world’s very most pretty and interesting things

1. (n) A vehicle commonly used as down payment towards children, and later traded in for them

1. (n) A saw, a female saw 2. (v) What one does with jeeper, creeper, or kooky peepers. 3. (n) Precursor to “hold” and post-cursor to “have”, as in “I see it, I just gotta hold and have it.

1. (n) Thin tube used to blow bubbles in milk. Can also be used as a handle to knock over beverages at restaurants 2. (n) Bit of sneezy hay, often found in nature or on a hayride

1. (adj) Similiar to stinky but with an other-earthly vengeful waft of horrific odor

1. (n) Santa’s hangover from his night of giving 2. (n) An ill-shaped sock unwearable due to, well, it’s ill shape, material and the fact that it’s either hung up too high or filled with fruit, candy, batteries, or coal.

SEE ALSO: SANTA CLAUS

1. (n) Natural solvent used to clean protesting children’s faces in restaurants and other public places

1. (sl) People who’re pre-judged for their playing and vandalizing of stereo equipment 2. (n) Generic for Bose, Sony or Crosley

1. (n) Excuse for evil grown-ups to jab and modestly sicken kids both kind and unruly 2. (n) One of kids only legal means of earning free la-la pops, stickers and toys labeled with meaningless pharmaceutical slogans

SEE ALSO: DOCTOR