Definitions of ‘B’ Words

1. (v) The motion one’s head makes when falling asleep while sitting up. Characterized by nodding, droopy eyes and a comical bobbing of the head, it is perfect for falling asleep in the car or entertaining party guests

1. (n) Noise made by the poking of one’s nose, though the exact origin of the sound has never been determined

1. (v) What a ball does off a person’s head when thrown properly 2. (n) Variety of inflatable house where one can jump to their heart’s delight

1. (n) A journey through the canals of tightening doom ultimately thrusting you forth into a never-ending journey towards impending doom 2. (n) Event signifying when your 1st birthday will fall, specifically 365 days later, except on a leap year 3. (n) Determinant as to what your astrological sign is and therefore the fate of your entire existence 4. (n) The event declaring that your mom isn’t any longer pregnant 5. (n) A new sibling event meaning you are now less unique by no less than 50%, a truly sad day for you, your toys, and future sharing possibilities

SEE ALSO: siblings

1. (n) An unimaginable mathematical concept within which no person with children is capable of adequately living while still being able to purchase every awesome toy the store has to offer

SEE ALSO: MONEY

1. (n) Proof that an ouchie really is a boo-boo or vice versa

SEE ALSO: OUCHIE

1. (adj) Word used to describe a very specific sort of vampire slayer. Visually similar to a woman seen in other movies but differentiated by a sing-song propensity as exhibited in that one musical episode that was so awesome

1. (n) Unimaginably bulky shoes ideal for keeping out puddle water as well as tripping the wearer over when velocity becomes too great

SEE ALSO: MUD PUDDLE

1. (n) Antique, albeit delightfully nippled, dispenser of sustenance in milk, juice, or water form

SEE ALSO: ANTIQUE

1. (n) Any number of insects of arachnids that drives my brother mad with fear 2. (v) What that same brother does to me with all his yelling and carrying on when he sees me coming at him with one

1. (n) Piece of paper dated and authenticated proving that you were, in fact, once born. Many of our greatest presidents have had such documents.

1. (n) An English person who is also a butt

1. (n) An event where a kindly man does the follicle snippies otherwise done by ladies

SEE ALSO: HAIRCUT

1. (n) Hysterical typo for the word broken

SEE ALSO: BROKEN

1. (n) Heavenly device used to trick babies into thinking they’re being fed, pacifying them and literally plugging their cry holes

SEE ALSO: BABY

1. (n) A word synonymous with balance, i.e. “checks and bills,” which is often found on the front of baseball caps to balance out one’s head, specifically while shading it from sunshine

1. (n) Pedal-powered vehicle of mobility available to kids of all ages, but totally baffling to most of those under about 10

SEE ALSO: BICYCLE

1. (n) Any container made of wood, plastic or cardboard typically marked fragile, very fragile or very, very, very fragile with as many as three underlines and containing a cornucopia of fun explorables. May also be used as a hiding place or standing platform, even if doing so requires continuous, unauthorized stomping

1. (n) Rainbow-keistered, banana-eating primates

1. (n) The time when you’re slung over a shoulder like a sack of gassy potatoes and knocked in the ribs until you say “delicious” in Japanese

1. (v) Being caught partaking of any known yet forbidden action, such as climbing out a window, stealing candy, or applying salt to your sibling 2. (adj) Word used to describe something old and in need of replacement, like a TV or split shoe

SEE ALSO: TV

1. (n) Random blather designed to sum up one whose body of work could fill one or two books… kind of like what we’re hoping to do, eventually, but in our case it’s to pay for college

1. (n) An annual event occurring seemingly at random when friends and family gather to don silly hats, sing a silly song, open boxes and extinguish cake affixed candles with spattering spit. Origin is from the Latin word meaning “To eat cake and pizza.”

1. (n) A department or piece of furniture in charge of wardrobe and clothing storage

SEE ALSO: CLOSET

1. (n) A non-automatic, personal heater used for warmth and comfort which is integral to sleep regardless of hour or ambient temperature

SEE ALSO: Pillow

1. (n) Freaky, creepy, shrieking featherless bird 2. (n) Anything used to smack a ball including sticks, bowling pins, broomsticks and other random toys

1. (n) Airborne balls of soapy, chaseable bad breath which delight as a thing you can see but never actually capture

1. (v) A negotiation which, when properly executed, a kid is able to finagle extra awake time, playtime, candy or cartoons, works especially well on parents who have already said “No” and especially when the other parent hasn’t and is unaware of the single outstanding “no”

1. (n) A Scientific thingy-do capable of bringing giggleability and toys to life 2. (n) The thing we don’t have that our loud, fun toys demand. Dead, presumably, because we “left them on” last time though I think my parents stole them.

1. (n) Expansive stretch of wave-lapped sand 2. (n) Place where sand makes its way into every imaginable crevice as if to see human pearls 3. (pn) Tri-colored inflatable ball 4. (n) Blanket filled with sand and tumbleweeds 5. (n) Oversized towel designed to treat acute cases of “the shivers”