Definitions of ‘C’ Words

1. (n) The French fry half of the Fish N’ equation 2. (n)Salty tokens of a fried, flavored delight, lavished on grouchy children to please though not necessarily feed them 3. (n) Food snacks you aren’t supposed to steal just before dinner even though you do

SEE ALSO: FRENCH FRY

1. (n) Fine dishes and coarse people

1. (n) Edible skin cream used to moisturize, revitalize and make you smell like clams

1. (n) Container of liquid solace 2. (n) Comforting device used to contain liquid and nutrients, especially during sleep or drive times and sleepy drive times

1. (n) An imaginary state of Utopia 2. (n) The first 90-seconds after a bath, just before real life resumes

1. (n) Potato chip type snacks devoid of nearly all flavor but still mystifyingly delicious

1. (n) An outfit one can wear any day of the week and/or month of the year, at home or in any public place 2. (n) Items of clothing similar to an outfit, though more like a uniform, worn to put on an appearance of authority, such as the being of Spider Man, Batman, Superman or some random dudes wearing paper.

1. (n) Conveniently located mere minutes from Godliness off Interstate-7 with ample parking day or night

1. (adj) A happy-go-lucky baby deprived of his blanket and nap 2. (n) Parent in witness of the same

SEE ALSO: BLANKET

1. (n) A request with more than one component, i.e., “Put on your socks AND shoes.” Man, that’s complicated!

SEE ALSO: SHOES

1. (n) Repository for the moldy tar formerly known as “last week’s coffee.”

1. (adj) Any compendium roughly as long as this one, much more beyond this is just plain excessive

1. (n) A non-controlled stimulant consumed by parents in order to keep pace with their children. Similar to its illegal stimulant cousins, the best of it comes from Columbia. Typically administered as a dark, non-palatable elixir served hot with many ounces of sugar and cream

SEE ALSO: COFFEE POT

1. (n) Pesky drapery parents force upon us before going outside

1. (n) A stone mason made out of crumbly-crusted pie, and should I ever meet him he’ll probably be my new best friend. I love pie.

1. (n) Smaller room adjacent to regular rooms containing a wealth of forgotten and/or forbidden items 2. (n) A spectacular place to hide, though getting back out can be very difficult at times 3. (n) One of two places where monsters live

1. (n) A crispy pancake loaded with chocolate chips and sugar, i.e., “Give me cookies!” 2. (n) The first name of Mr. Monster who lives on Sesame Street

1. (v) The making of scribbly-pictures with permanent markers or paint applied to paper, books, siblings, walls, carpet and closet doors 2. (n) Something us young folk surely didn’t apply to books, siblings, walls, carpets, closet doors or other such permanent things

1. (n) Lofty goal upon which to fling one’s food, especially spaghetti and it’s sauce 2. (n) Sounding board upon which downstairs parents hear upstairs children failing to actually be asleep 3. (n) An upside-down floor

SEE ALSO: FLOOR

1. (n) A clever yet nasty vegetable that is inedible despite its often being soaked in butter or slathered in cheddar. Frequently found cleverly camouflaged beside or beneath oh-so-tasty mashed potatoes

1. (n) An excuse for doctors or dentists to make child patients horribly uncomfortable, especially when nothing is wrong. Often accompanied by “poinky” jabs

1. (n) A fried, breaded dubloon of chicken cleft from the nugget region of the bird, commonly known as the back, ankles, inter-rib and jowl pit 2. (n) An integral quarter of the kids’ meal equation causing terrible debate between soda pop, French fries and the toy

SEE ALSO: FRENCH FRIES

1. (n) Baby jail used to punish babies for being too noisy or needy or sleepy, we assume

1. (n) Kiddo placation method, though only temporarily effective

1. (n) An arcade game you take your whole car through, and one priced accordingly by pound

1. (n) Place in the kitchen where one can find a stainless steel goldmine of pots and pans upon which to bang like a real jazz percussionist 2. (n) A fun place to hide

1. (v) Unplaying 2. (v) Putting away that which would be better served by being taken away 3. (v) Not making one’s bed and lying about having done it

1. (n) A pack of kids who all kind of look the same as us though we’re assured they are not actually our clones

1. (n) A long thin wire used to deliver a wealth of cartoons into almost any home, while simultaneously tripping unsuspecting walkers-by

SEE ALSO: CARTOON

1. (n) The 30-second featurettes shown between longer expanses of cartoon time. Used to educate consumers as to which cereals and toys they should demand from the store

SEE ALSO: SUGAR CEREAL