Definitions of ‘L’ Words

1. (n) A legendary creature that lights up and blinks when you stomp around in the grass where it lives. We live on the west coast, so these mythical creatures remain nothing more than legend. Unless of course you’re eating with Caribbean Pirates at the Blue Bayou.

VISIT: THE BLUE BAYOU

1.(n) A device used in public to expand sphere of mischief by 6 to 10 feet 2. (n) The most humiliating of all punishments 3. (n) What dogs wear to understand how children feel while walking out in public

1. (n) A switch you can flip back on after bedtime to prolong playtime as well as increase parental frustrations 2. (n) Something parents turn off to keep us out of rooms we’re not supposed to be in 3. (n) Something kids turn on to make the parents come running

1. (n) Strenuous work commonly associated with excessive overtime the sorts of which make moms and dads go away, and in our case, it doesn’t have a union, though we do appreciate the toys and burgers bought by them doing it 2. (v) Extremely loud screaming that seems to make everyone happy

1. (v) What parents accuse me of being when they don’t want to do something they rightly say I can do. Examples include tying my own shoes and brushing my own teeth, both of which they’re perfectly capable of doing for me

1. (n) A fabricated story staunchly rejected by everyone but the person telling it

1. (n) Something laid down uniquely in every home you may visit 2. (n) Something police make parents follow, lest they get a ticket for going too fast SYN: CARPET

1. (n) Correct pronunciation of the color commonly known as “yellow” though older children and adults pronounce it the Spanish way “llellow” (similar to “llama” or “tortilla”)

SEE ALSO: LAMAZE

1. (n) Food I didn’t like enough to eat yesterday, further diminished by the ugly sheen of refrigeration and a blast in the microwave

1. (n) A thpeech impediment thpoken with great frequenthy by my nemethith, the pooddy tat

1. (n) A French phrase meaning, “Don’t yell at me about breathing, Doc, I’m having a baby here!” 2. (n) Adult Ed classes focused on teaching the phrase “I want an epidural.” 3. (n) A wooly, spitting animal that gramas make baby blankets of

1. (n) A greeting or request for attention often accompanied by pointing 2. (n) A thing grown-ups scream at infants as if they’ll suddenly smile at them, though the loudness doesn’t always translate.

SEE ALSO: WOOGIT

1. (n) A state of being that is simply terrifying and without purpose or conceivable end, much like the television show of the same name 2. (n) A game played by toddlers and mothers while shopping at department stores

1. (n) A scam product of personal care that often promises “baby soft skin,” which pretty much everyone has anyway, at least those among our general age group 2. (n) The semi-liquid contents from a container with which one can coat themselves tip to toe. SYN: SUNBLOCK

1. (n) The 12th through 16th letters in the Alphabet Song, may alternatively be pronounced emmemmenno and lemonemmo

1. (n) A time that is not now when one will be allowed to have, do or eat something SYN: NEVER, ANT: YES.

1. (n) A person who never fixes anything and complains when you jump up and down screaming in the livingroom on a Wednesday afternoon