Definitions of ‘N’ Words

1. (n) Diaper exchange 2. (v) Want with a vengeance 3. (n) Parents ideal for peace and quiet, typically unfulfilled

1. (n) Perplexing Times, of course. It’s the only real news out there, as far as we can tell, unless you also mean Montana with Kids

1. (n) Round, salty things better roasted than kicked

1. (n) A strong, passionate assertion of “no.” ANT: YEAH-HUH

1. (n) Highly volatile immediate family ready to blow up by the mere pushing of one’s brothers

SEE ALSO: BROTHER

1. (n) An unjustified punishment often associated with afternoon grouchies. Often includes a tippy cup of milk, a stuffed animal or two or even more, and favorite blanket

1. (n) Status of misbehavior 2. (n) Collectable

SEE ALSO: COLLECTABLES

1. (n) A long, floppy stick of starch best ingested by sucking and swallowing it down whole, often covered with cheese sauce. Also makes for more interesting diaper changes 2. (n) Something glued to a lousy collage, specifically by a teacher claiming to be the child artist in question

1. (adj/adv) Any toy or action that’s both fun and infuriating to grown-ups 2. (n) Kids in repose

1. (adj) The first five minutes of use, after that it — whatever “it” is — becomes old, used, broken or otherwise expired

SEE ALSO: BROKEN

1. (n) An infant working on a 12-step program who, upon taking his 13th step, will graduate to toddler

1. (n) The front of my face 2. (n) Facial features that go “boop” when pressed, according to strangers and non-immediate family 3. (n) Personal item intermittently stolen by magicians, clowns and goofballs alike, then represented as recovered with a thumb by proxy

1. (n) A person whose sweets, treats, and juices demand consumption 2. (n) Crotchety person known for yelling “Keep of my lawn!”

1. (n) The coolest and best fish that doesn’t come in stick form

1. (n) Sneeze ports 2. (n) Personal goldmines 3. (n) Facial apertures into which a finger may fit, but it is otherwise forbidden 4. (n) Hidden hideaways for secret treasures

1. (n) Anything you can put in your mouth up to the age of about two

1. (adj) A perfectly reasonable timeframe in which one expects to get his or her way

1. (n) The loudest word in the English language 2. (n) Verbal protest meaning, “Nagatory, good buddy.” 3. (v) Don’t wanna 4. (n) The sweetest, most versatile and powerful of mantras ANT: YES