Definitions of ‘T’ Words

1. (n) A series of peculiar sounds spoken with apparent intention, though best understood between adults 2. (n) Form of babbling or gibberish with fewer goofy filler noises and more words, as such they actually have some known meaning, even when the meaning is totally lost on young folks

SEE ALSO: BABBLE

1. (n) Period in frog or human development between birth and infancy

SEE ALSO: FROG

1. (adj) An exclusive status reserved for grownups, older kids, skyscrapers and redwood trees

1. (n) substance that cools the burn of one’s gums, while also numbing the tongue. It also causes drooling, and making attempts at speech slightly more futile.

SEE ALSO: GUM

1. (v) Natural reaction caused by excessive sadness or modest injury 2. (n) Saline drops of persuasion

1. (n) We’ve got at least two, I think. 2. (n) Random, impossible sequence of letters, numbers and characters

SEE ALSO: TELEPHONE

1. (n) Forbidden, random-ringing electronic device located primarily in the living room 2. (n) Device by which people say to you, “Hello. Hello? Are you there? Hello?” while you quietly listen, staring off into space wondering where that voice is coming from 3. (n) A communication device forbidden to children’s abscondery 4. (n) Thingy-ma-jig parents keep in their pocket so they’re never too far from work, but always too far from actually being with their kids

1. (n) Older siblings who are especially determined 2. (n) Cheap steak and other cuts of discount meat 3. (n) A mislabeled form of especially unlikable and mean love, i.e., “This is tough love, kiddo.”

SEE ALSO: MEAT

1. (n) 40-billion pounds of super-fun, super-interesting choo-choo 2. (n) How souls travel

1. (n) Parental drug used to cope with kid stress whilst slowly committing suicide

1. (n) One piece of string 2. (n) Two pieces of any other single thing once you cut it in two, i.e., earthworm

1. (adj) The fleeting instance between believing in someone and the realization that you’ve just been had

1. (n) A pending state of prosecution (and perhaps persecution) after the commission of a crime, but before the sentence has been handed down 2. (n) A form of metaphorical hot water in which one gets into although it does not get them clean 3. (n) The result of being totally busted

SEE ALSO: HAND-ME-DOWNS

1. (n) A nearly endless roll of craft paper one can use to creatively decorate anything. It is named for its dispensery location beside the toilet 2. (n) A fine hieny wiper, when baby wipes aren’t available

1. (n) A form of non-musical radio station, or parental lecture, either way it is a thing conducive to sleep 2. (n) The babbling gibberish uttered by toddlers

1. (n) A custard dessert served at bedtime (and sometimes breakfast) in very limited amounts upon an angry brush (instead of a plastic spoon) used to scrub cavities from ones pearly chompers

1. (n) An important chapter in pre-kindergarten physics responsible for teaching the practical applications of momentum, velocity, gravity, and elastic dynamics 2. (v) Excellent means of making a point 3. (v) The single most best way to get rid of otherwise unsavory and undesirable items

1. (v) Giggling about boobies and other shirt-area oriented games

1. (v) Punching, slapping or jumping up and down on a keyboard prior to running spell check to see what it came out to be

SEE ALSO: JUMP

1. (n) A crowd 2. (n) Final number in the count-up to discipline, i.e., “Give that back to your brother or you’re in big trouble, mister! One! Two! Three!”

1 (n) The one store cheaper than that of the Dollar variety, typically filled with quasi-discarded garbage and busted videotapes that won’t play, as well as shoes that look worse than the ones we’re already trying to throw away, though still good fun for an afternoon outing

SEE ALSO: GARBAGE

1. (n) Equals, i.e. 2 + 2, and the thesaurus says 4 or pair of dueces 2. (n) Giant plastic dinosaur with a bellyful of toys

1. (n) Hypnotizing box, often taking place of nanny, babysitter, or even a parent 2. (n) Household entertainer boasting and broadcasting cartoons, commercials with ducks, and 30-second info-documercials starring brilliant educators like insurance magnate Vern Fonk

(Go to youtube and watch the Vern Fonk commercials they are hilarious (more than 40 of them)

1. (n) Indoor birdbath 2. (n) Place in which to not play or splash 3. (n) Grown-up potty 4. (n) The universal washing machine

1. (n) The answer to a question exhibited by showing an item and telling “this” instead of trying to remember it’s name; i.e.,
Q: “Show me something orange.”
A: (Pointing) “This.”

1. (n) The top-heavy imbalance exhibited by a headstrong neo-toddler

SEE ALSO: NEO-TODDLER

1. (n) Tasty chunk ‘o chicken, assuming it’s triple greasy fried or otherwise double-down delicious 2. (n) A compound of the human body which perpetually wages war against the same human’s desire for “thin thighs,” though adults swear it’s an impossibility

SEE ALSO: CHICKEN

1. (v) The most basic evidence that God really and truly hates the mouths of small children

1. (n) Clicky wall device which, if reached, can transform any home into a sauna or icebox

SEE ALSO: HOME

1. (v) Going someplace, such as onto your face because of toys lying discreetly upon the floor; ie, “Have a nice trip, see you next fall, ha ha ha.”