Definitions of ‘T’ Words

1. (n) Human birdbath in which one can splash around and soak their bodies while playing with toys

1. (n) A true mid-ground punishment in that it forces smiles and laughter even though it’s something to be resisted by any means

1. (n) An age old (like 15-years or so) and irreplaceable tool used for circumventing IQ crushing commercials and improving cartoon time

SEE ALSO: CARTOON

1. (n) Anything with leaves except mom and dad. Sometimes they leave but they aren’t trees.

SEE ALSO: DAD

1. (n) Coupon redeemable for amusement park rides. Typically given out for cash at the park or as a free courtesy from police people to random speedy drivers and their families 2. (n) Things cops give to daddy and mommy drivers when their rides go a bit too fast

SEE ALSO: FAMILY

1. (n) Money reserved for games and other things of appreciation, like toll bridges

SEE ALSO: MONEY

1. (n) An exciting locale I am forbidden from running out into 2. (n) Something parents forsake while trying desperately to get somewhere important, specifically while they don’t seem to be driving all that fast in the first place

1. (n) A life sentence ordered as discipline often with all but two minutes commuted for good behavior

SEE ALSO: CORNER

1. (n) Portable neener-neener device. 2. (n) The sworn enemy of the vegetable. 3. (n) Host location of shiny, distracting, and yankable jewelry.

1. (n) Excuse to show off segments of otherwise forbidden flesh 2. (n) Colorful stickers that never wash away

1. (n) A meaningless word grown-ups talk about all the time for no discernable reason 2. (n) An excuse for adults to whine

SEE ALSO: WHINE

1. (n) Determinant of shivers and/or sweating, alternately

1. (n) A peaceful, moderated expression of dislike of any event, circumstance or situation

1. (v) To forge under inordinately high pressure conditions, often utilized while driving to or suffering at the supermarket

1. (v) Post crawling 2. (v) Pre-walking 3. (n) Recipe for bumps on the head

SEE ALSO: CRAWL

1. (n) Climbable summit of parental “get off the…” status

1. (n) An allegedly terrible age marked by potty training, bottle weaning, and discipline enforced “rules.” 2. (n) The second marker in the disciplinary count up; i.e., “Stop pulling her hair or you’re going to the corner! One! Two! Three!” 3. (adj) The number of hands, feet, eyes and ears anyone is allowed to have at any given time. 4. (adj) An insufficient number of hands, eyes

SEE ALSO: CORNER

1. (n) Mythical villain who promises to sneak in under the dark of night, and abscond with my teeth. This so-called fairy may offer parental pocket change but it’s no fair trade for the trauma of losing teeth, even if one is expected to grow replacements 2. (n) A terrible, terrible movie starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

1. (n) Anything covetable and worthy of play includes boxes, wrappers, shoes and kitchenware.

SEE ALSO: BOX